MORE THAN A SONG

The Heart Of Worship


When the music fades, All is stripped away
And I simply come, longing just to bring
Something that's of worth, That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song, For a song in itself
Is not what You have required .You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus.I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it.
When it's all about You. It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth, No one could express
How much you deserve. Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours, Every single breath.

I'll bring you more than a song. I'll bring you more than a song
More than a song. I'll bring you more than a song
I'll bring you more than a song. You're looking into my heart
Looking into my heart. You're looking into my heart. Into my heart
I'll bring you more than a song.

I'm on the worship team at church. We sang this on Sunday, and I knew there would come another day I would sing this song for my Lord. I'm hoping to show a little bit of my heart in this post, though I will never be able to express my thoughts exactly. It will be a tough one for me, I think. This song brings back many memories, not all of them good, but memories none the less. When I first started going to church several years back I wanted to be on the worship team more than anything. It is my passion, and I hope one of my spiritual gifts. There is nothing in the world like worshipping my King. The worship team at this particular church had a name, they were called "More Than A Song."

I put in my application. I had to be approved. I had to audition, no big deal. I made the team. There were several parts to the application process I was soon to find out. Being able to hit a note was not the only requirement. I had to make it to the practices, learn some harmony, etc... I had to attend so many church services, Wednesdays and Sundays. I had to serve somewhere in the church on a regular basis, and all kinds of other good stuff. All to worship my God on the platform. We didn't call it a stage because, we were not performers. Being on the worship team meant being an upfront leader, and carried alot of responsibility. I just wanted to sing, and worship my Lord. No other kind of music has ever touched me the way worship music does.
So I did all of this for a couple of years. We moved an hour away round trip from the church and I would drive it 2 times on Sunday, and then again on Wednesday's, and whenever there was something else I was required to attend. I was involved in the kid's ministry even though I had no clue what I was doing. I joined the prayer team during the 1st service. I attended the 2ND service and we would pray over the 1st service as it was going on. I enjoyed the prayer time.

It is no wonder why after a couple of years of this kind of commitment things went way South. I was tired, and my family suffered. My husband didn't attend church. he was angry that the church required so much of my time. I tried to explain it to him. I tried to make him understand. He couldn't understand why I had to do all of this to be on some worship team. I ought to be able to go to church and sing if that's what I wanted to do, without all of the legal requirements, and attendance charts. I finally had to step down. It broke my heart to give that up. I was mad that I couldn't do what I wanted more than almost anything. It wasn't possible to want something so much and not be able to have it. It wasn't fair that God wouldn't make a way.
I quit going to church after that. There were alot of other things going on, probably the hardest time in my life. A time when I needed to cling close to God, and could not. How was it possible to do all of this hard work and not be able to worship??
We started going to a new church here in Hollister. They have a fantastic worship team. I wanted to be on it from day one, and would not allow myself. I think God had a hand in it. I was to be patient and wait upon Him, and His timing. Every week I would tell my Hubby how much I wanted to be on the worship team, and he would tell me to do it. I could not. The timing was not right. I had to get my whole life right with God before I would even allow myself to think about it. I had to be Holy, because He is Holy. It is what I was taught.
Well, that's going to take me a lifetime, and then some. I am never going to be Holy enough. Even my best is dirty rags. I finally came to a realization that it was time. Not because I deserved it, but because God deserves my worship. My best, my all. I did have to get some areas of my life right with Him before I would allow myself, and I did it. I tend to be a person anymore who holds the leaders in our church to a higher standard. Do I understand if they mess up? Do I forgive if they need it? Do I pray for them, and help hold them accountable, while still loving them? Well, didn't Jesus do that for me? Yes.
On Saturday I started to question whether I still deserved my spot on this team. Not for any particular reason, just a self check. Have I done enough lately to earn it? Have I attended enough church events? I went to practice on Sunday morning with a heavy heart, knowing I didn't deserve it. Then I learned we were singing this song. I knew it was satan trying to convince me of his lies, and I put him in his place. For the first time in a long time I knew I was where I belonged, worshipping the Lord, and pouring my heart out to him. Trying hard to empty myself of me and filling up on Him. What a joy, a light heartedness, a freedom I felt all day. Even though my best will never be good enough, I will try to always bring "More than a Song."

Independance Day

It is Independance Day weekend. For me that means 3 days off! Yeah! I need it so bad. So far I have been able to go through some closets and get a few large bags of stuff hauled away to Goodwill. It's not done yet, but I'm getting closer! I am learning to find a place for everything, and everything in it's place. It is more out of necessity for my sanity above all, and the steps I have taken are starting to show!

We had a lovely family day yesterday, July 4th. Actually only 3 of us, but a family day none the less. My little Mischief (Ms Tiff, my 11 yr old) is off visiting her Grammy and Granny in Kansas for 3 weeks, and oh how I miss her. I call her almost everyday and ask her if she is ready for me to come get her. She is not. So I will be without her until July 15th, 2 days before her 12th birthday. However much I miss her though, my house stays cleaner, quieter, and less chaotic. I DONT LIKE IT! It amazes me how much one member of the family contributes to every aspect of daily living.

We went to watch the fireworks in downtown Hollister last night. Me, hubby, and Hunter. We took Jeff's new pickup, let down the tailgate and covered it with a blanket. I have never seen a 4th of July firewrks show as good as the one we saw last night. For starters, we are surounded by the beautiful Ozark Mountains, and the echo of each one was almost deafening! It was simply amazing. They put on about a 20 minute show, and each time you thought it was time for the finale they would shoot off more. One thing different that I have never seen, that gave me much Pride, was at the end, after the finale of beautiful lights, they had a 21 gun salute with the loudest fireworks I have ever been privy too. Hunter and I talked a little about what the day meant, about how it was a celebration of our freedom, and what it meant to live free in America. I had terars in my eyes because of the sense of pride I felt for our our beautiful country, our service men, and the freedoms we tend to take for granted. Also the price that was paid, from our Veterans. I thank these men and women from the bottom of my heart.

Yesterday was also our baby niece Emily's 1st birthday. She died February 10th, 2008 at 7 months old. The tears I shed were also in remembrance of her and her family that will miss her until the day we go to be with Jesus. I can not cry for Emmy, she is where I want to be. She is with out Lord and Saviour, walking those streets of gold, in a land of milk and honey, where there is no sorrow, no suffering, no pain. I remember her as the beautiful little baby girl she was that touched so many lives, and changed some for the better. However, her Mom and Dad, and 4 brothers and sisters I will hold close to my heart, and continue to pray for their healing, for good to come from the testimony that they have for Baby Emily.

Well until next time, God be with all.

Visit from the devil

With the Bible in hand into bed did I creep To read a few chapters before going to sleep
As my eyelids grew heavy I heard a faint sound I held onto the good book and turned around
I saw a slight movement come out of the night
I jumped with a start and was consumed with fright
In my room stood a figure menacing and tall His motion was fluid like a shadow on the wall
He stared at me with two piercing eyes and said "Put down the book, stop reading those lies
My master has sent me to get rid of this lark I am an agent of Lucifer the prince of the dark
"I see you are reading in Genesis and Acts More of God's ramblings, now here are the facts Adam and Eve are a myth, they are God's fairy tale
Your ancestors were not human, you once had a tail
"Man was not created, it took many eons of time
You have really evolved from a minute piece of slime
I am known as the destroyer, and Apollyon is my name
Listen to my plans of destruction, the reason I came
"I will infiltrate your churches, and set up the stage
To replace the old time religion with mine the New Age
Forget God's Commandments, put your mind at ease
You can form your own destiny and do as you please
"Why bother with God when you are Number One
Your father's not in Heaven, he's in Washington
I will replace prayers with psychics and make astrology the craze
It will be the same as Babylon back in the good old days
"I will fill up the movies with sex, language and gore
Until is seems like the norm and the people want more
Then I'll bring it all in your homes and put it on TV
On daytime and prime time so the children can see
"Why believe in marriage and spending life with just one
There are many fish in the ocean and swinging is fun
Stop being so pious, it's square to be pure Fear not the diseases for which there's no cure
"Feel free to party and partake of love's portion and lure
And if pregnancy results, there's always abortion
It's not really a child, it's only a fetus that's dead
Let's kill off the children, and save the whales instead
"I took prayers out of the schools and brought condoms in
The kids won't know the difference of what's Holy and what's sin
I'll keep the prisons overflowing and justice from the courts
Your streets will be a war zone, your homes will be forts
"Do not believe in the Holy Spirit as the One who is just
Instead of looking for angels, try some angel dust
I will peddle narcotics in the cities and hills Talking to me is so easy, just pop a few pills
"I will print porno of all sorts and send it through the mail
The courts will allow it, we'll keep it upscale
The commercials and ads will revolve around sex Until infidelity and rape become a reflex
"I will set up your lifestyle so both parents must work
While in gangs and on the streets their children will lurk
Families will break up, the divorce rate will be high I'll make money a problem and all it can buy "You will need alcohol and pills to relieve all your stress
Your mind will be a wasteland for my demons to possess
I will take away your morals and your work ethics too
I will subdue my enemy -- and my enemy is you"
When he finished his tirade he kept leering at me I was now full of rage but had to agree
The things that he talked about were now taking place
His ultimate goal is to destroy the human race
I felt a strength come from within, I lost all sense of fear
This devil cannot hurt me, the Holy Spirit is here
My body is God's Temple, and I will not let it be soiled
For greater is He that's in me than he that's of the world
Still holding the Bible I opened the good book To Revelation chapter 20, hey devil, take a look
An angel is going to bind Satan and throw him in a pit
And for one thousand years that's where he'll sit
He's then removed from the pit and thrown into a fire-filled pool
Where he will burn for eternity to pay for his misrule
He will experience the ultimate pain with the rest of his crew
When this happens to your boss, where does that leave you?
Now what's that you said, the Bible is God's fairy tale?
Listen to me now, devil, some facts I will unveil
The Bible is the true word of God and I can prove it to you
By all His fulfilled prophecies and the existence of the Jew
God said many times He would return His people to their land
And it's happening right now, don't you understand
For twenty-five hundred years, His people had to roam
Now they're coming back to Israel, back to their home
Many times has the world tried to kill off the Jew
But they have survived their enemies, does that give you a clue?
God said "I will make an end of all nations among which I scattered you"
Now tell me, devil, what has happened to Persia, Assyria and Babylon too?
Where is Edom and Moab and Ammon today?
The Philistines have vanished, what more can I say
Many countries that suppressed the Jews no longer exist
This is a fact that cannot be dismissed
But Israel is still here and as strong as before
Far outnumbered by their enemies yet they win every war
They became a nation again, back in May of '48
God foretold this in Isaiah chapter 66 verse 8 The Lord picked the Jews as His chosen race
And after thousands of years they survived by His grace
No other country of people have a history that long
How can such a tiny nation be so powerfully strong?
Many prophecies in the Bible predicted the coming of Christ
About His birth and His life and that He'd be sacrificed
Over fifty prophecies on Jesus and all of them fulfilled
You look a little sick, devil, how come you're not thrilled?
Archaeology has proven the Bible with findings of long ago
From the city of Babylon to the walls of Jericho
The stone of Pontious Pilate and the scrolls of the Dead Sea
The letters of Lachish and the obelisk of Shalmaneser III
The Cyrus Cylinder and the tombstone of Uzziah,
The Assyrian king records and the tunnel of Hezekiah
Hey what's the matter, devil, now you don't look so tall
If all this is not enough, how about the Western Wall?
As I continued my rebuttal, I saw the devil start to weaken
He had no answers for me, I could see he was beaten
I looked him square in the eyes and applied the final thrust
I knew the following words would turn him to dust I rebuke you, evil one, be gone from my sight You may be from the darkness but I am a child of the light
You think you can enter my home and do anything that pleases
Get out of here devil -- in the name of Jesus
His cry was a shrill, more like a scream He disappeared from sight, it was all a bad dream
I looked out the window and saw the sunlight Good riddance to you, you prince of the night
Now I warn all of you, I'm sounding the alarm
Do not shake hands with Satan, you will lose your right arm
He roams the streets like a lion looking for prey
He will be the prince of this world until the Lord's Day
But the Lord's Day is at hand and Satan's running out of time
He knows when Jesus returns, he'll pay for his crime
The final combat is coming and friends I'm not kidding
Get on the Lord's side now before the Battle of Armageddon
Many prophecies have been fulfilled in the last fifty years
That lead to the end times and it certainly appears
With the increase in earthquakes, pestilence, famine and war
This generation may see Jesus as written in Matthew twenty-four
Look around you my friends and see what's going on today
Parents ignoring their children and children who disobey
The profanity and violence and the moral decay
All this belongs to Satan, this is not the Lord's way
The Rapture could be any second when Jesus comes for His Church
Be prepared for that moment, give yourself time for research
When the saved leave the earth, there will be no goodbyes
Don't be left standing here with tears in your eyes
Turn your life over to Jesus, let your flesh be slain
To free you from sin, He went through suffering and pain
To spend eternity in Heaven should be your full-time quest
Remember the years here on earth are only a test
Turn your life over to Jesus, I'll say it again
I'll shout it over the mountains and through every glen
The Lord will be judging all sinners and those who backslide
And believe me, my friends, there's no place you can hide
Stop and listen, good people, He is calling to you To put off the old and to put on the new
To bring Jesus in your life and be freed of Satan's snare
Just say the following words from this simple prayer:
"Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, come into my heart Wash away my sins, give me a new start
You are the Son of the Living God, I give my life to you
Fill me with your presence, with a spirit that's new
"That's all it takes to bring Jesus in your life To get rid of Satan's yoke and all of the strife
If you say this with meaning, then His Presence you'll feel
The Holy Spirit will be there, and you'll be under His seal

~Author Unknown

Be Still and Know that He is God

Oh, where to begin today. I need to write. I am on overload, and this is my outlet.
Sing praise. Thats what I need to do first.

Would you be free from your burden of sin. There's power in the blood, power in the blood. Would you oe'r evil the victory win. There's wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power, in the blood, of the lamb. There is power, power, wonder working power in the precious blood of the lamb.

I've been singing it all week. It is all that is getting me through right now. I know God is working, but I'm not seeing it much right now. I am having to walk in faith. I'm exhausted from training at my job, coming home and cleaning, cooking, and raising a family, not to mention all the other activities we have going on. Do some need to go?

I am trying hard to come up with a routine. I'm failing. I feel like I'm drowning. I am not used to working a full 40 hour week. I have been spoiled for too long I guess. I about broke down in tears at work today from all the stress, and that is not like me at all. I am tough. I work well under pressure. So what happened to me today????

As I left work at lunch to run an errand, I was almost in a panic attack. I forgot to grab my sandwich, so I didnt even get to eat, which made my mood a little worse, but I am realizing that sometimes that's just how it goes. When I returned to work though I had more of a feeling of calm and peace than I have had all week, and there is no explanation for it in my mind. Except that He has the whole world in His hands.

Today is Wednesday, church day, and I didnt get to go because my boy had baseball practice. I went in and talked to Pastor D for a few minutes while dropping off my girl. I just needed a shoulder, and God provided. Pastor D gave me a verse, and I am carrying it with me.

Psalm 46:10 (New King James Version)
10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

Every aspect of my life is in emotional turmoil right now. I am DESPERATE for peace. I am in a time of crying out to my Lord, "God, I can't take anymore." I need Him first to teach me how to be still. How to just shut off the emotion, the frustration, and yes, even anger.
I wish I could just blurt all here, but out of love and respect, and honour, I can not.
I'm thinking I'm just rattling on here, and while maybe confusing to the reader, it is beneficial to me. I am getting answers as I write.
The first thing that comes to mind: Am I taking care of Stephanie? Nope. I'm not eating right, I'm not prioritizing, I'm not disciplining. I'm not having quiet time with my Bible, and when I lay down at night I'm not spending time with my Lord. I'm thinking over the days' frustration, what I didnt get done, bills, who I'm mad at, etc....

No wonder I have no peace. I have to do something different. A chore chart for the kids, with consequences for not doing them. Thats the discipline. Getting up 5 minutes earlier to have quiet time with my Bible. These are little things that I can do right now that will make a huge difference. I'm "still" right now, focused on the state of my spiritual health. It's the medicine I need to get back to where I belong. I think I will end right now with this, and take a huge dose of it. I'm getting out my Bible, let the day rest, and be still knowing that He is God.

Standing on His Promise

Isaiah 41:10 (New International Version)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

How is it that you can be going through life one day and everything is absolutely marvelous, not a care in the world, except for continuing to stay on the path that God has set before you. The next day you feel like you've been ran over by a mac truck, with not one problem but a series of things that you just never even saw coming. Ok, some you did, but they seemed to get worse as others arose. That is my life right now.

I have been working really hard at getting trained with my new job, learning to make new routines at home to fit my new full time hours, and still make the time for the family activities that have become so important to our family. It has been stressful, especially the day when the crockpot decided to quit on me, but for the most part I have enjoyed the challenge, and I am learning to be more efficient.

This last weekend I had some things arise that stopped me in my tracks. Things that have me questioning the path I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT GOD HAS SET BEFORE ME. I know these things because I have prayed extensively over them, and I have checked them against God's Holy word. I am learning to be obedient, and joyful to the tasks set before me, even housework. I am bearing fruit like never before, and I am just delighted in doing God's work. I even have tentative plans to go on my very first mission trip next year, I believe to Honduras, to an orphanage.

I know these are usually the times when satan works hard. He has tried and tried to get me to fail again, and while he has not succeeded in winning the war, sometimes he gets the small victories. I have allowed him a window here the last couple of days. The situations that have arisen are not my doing, but ultimately they are my problems now. How I handle them will be very important. This is a time when I have to reach deep inside and find what really matters. Realize where my own selfishness fits in, and put guilt in its rightful place. The first thing I had to do was reach out for outside help. I do not do well with this one. I am a stubborn proud person who doesnt like to admit defeat. Right now, I feel defeated, I feel like a failure, and I have not a lot of joy. The window I talked of earlier.

Actually, before I asked for outside help, I sat down and prayed. I thanked God for the trials that were before me, the struggles that will one day be just a memory. I know God holds me with His rightous hand. When I called my older sister for help, she didnt sugar coat things for me. She lives for God too. He directed me to her. I didnt like what she had to say, but knew it was truth, and it has helped my thinking to be clearer. She came into my life when I was 16, she was 19. My mother had put her up for adoption when she was born. I knew about her most of my younger years, and knew I would know her one day. I couldnt stand her when I was 16. She had encroached upon my territory, and it was just a really hard time for me. She is my mothers daughter, and my Dad had a brand new baby girl shortly after I had met my older sister. I was always the only girl. Just here the last couple of months we have started talking again. Both of us have had to do some serious prayer over our relationship, and where God wants us to go with it. When he answered my prayer the other morning and told me to call her at 7:30 am, I knew where He wants us to go with it. It will be a slow process, and should be. It takes a long time to build a strong bond, but we are getting closer every day. I love her.

I know the Lord is with me through this time. I will struggle with being dismayed, because I am human, but He has promised to strengthen me and help me. Through His strength I will be less and less dismayed. I am still fairly new at learning to trust Him, but He has never failed me. I will contnue to praise Him, even through my tears, and anger, and frustration. For I know the joy comes in the mourning. Thank you, Father.

The Lord's Answer

2 Chronicles 7:14
14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I just blogged about this verse, in my post titled "My Answer". I have had this verse on my heart for a few days. I understand now.
I'm tired and think I may have the stomach flu, yet I want to blog about this so badly! It may not be a great read, but that's OK.
I started my new job on Tuesday of this week. So far it has been terribly boring and I have had to fight to stay awake. Not a good way to start a new job! However, they are short staffed, and the lady that is my main boss is on vacation, so there is really nobody to train me. They have put me back in the bookkeepers office to watch them do their jobs. I think starting Monday there should be a little more for me to learn. I came home after day 1 and told my hubby I had learned so much, but couldn't say for sure exactly what I had learned. I found out it's a whole lot of nothing! At least how it pertains to my job anyway.

I have been praying over the job situation for some time. It finally came to a point where I was praying over which one to accept. I was so blessed in the fact that I had a choice of where I wanted to work, and there are other people who are struggling to find a job. I kept asking the Lord to give me something, a sign, a word, anything, to let me know where he wanted me. I wasn't getting anything. It was one of those times where I had to walk in faith, and hope I was making the right decision. It wasn't until I walked in the door of my first day on the job that I got my answer. Actually it became an affirmation. The verse posted above, that I had blogged about a few days ago, is posted behind the teller desk in beautiful bold large letters. I don't know how I missed it the other times I was in there. I did though.

Things are going well so far. It is a different world from the Showboat. My new job called me to offer me the position, and I had to call my boss at the Showboat to give my notice. It was a bittersweet moment. I loved my job there, and met some really neat people. I will miss it. When I called my boss, she told me things were very slow out there and people were begging to work. She let me go with out having to work my last 2 weeks. She told me I would be missed, and thanked me for 2 years of service. She told me to call if I needed to come back.

The Lord worked all of this out for me. I don't deserve it. I am humbled, and will always praise Him.

What a mighty God we serve!

WOW! WOW! WOW! GOD IS SOOOOO FAITHFUL.
This is my update to the prayer request I posted 3 weeks ago. I can never say thank you enough to you who pray for us.

Over the winter break I started searching for a new job. I put in several applications and resume's, and no one ever called. I wrote a post called "Set Apart" around the time I was to return to the Showboat for my 3rd season. I have been growing in my walk with God and one thing He really put on my heart was that I needed to be in the world, but not of it. I began praying hard. Another issue was working Sundays. I prayed and told God he was going to have to work out the Sunday issue. I went back to the Showboat. I tried everyday to do my work as if working for the Lord, and to remain set apart. I was still praying for the Sunday issue. I began putting in more applications. I probably had 20 of them out there this time around. I had my sights set pretty high, and was not going to settle for anything less than what my family needed. Know who called??? Not the hospitals and medical offices, it was the banks.
Three of them to be exact. I had several interviews with 2 of them, and was getting ready to accept a position, when the other one called. I went in for an interview, not sure what to expect. Besides, I had my heart set on a different one. The first lady I talked to told me that this bank was a little different than the others in town. They are a Christian bank! They have the 10 commandments on the wall, they fly the Christian flag, they have verses posted on the walls, and they pray before they make any decisions. Think this is coincidence for me??? Not a chance. More like an answer to my prayers.
I have been praying that I would find a job that works with my family first and foremost. Good hours, benefits, and no more Sundays. We have been praying over our financial situation, trying to get that right with God and be better stewards with our money. We needed a retirement plan, and health insurance that was affordable.

They called me yesterday and offered me the position. I accepted.

I am so very humbled by what the Lord has done in my life and my family's life.

Matthew 25:23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

I have been brought to my knees in awe. What a mighty God we serve.

My Answer

I have not posted in several days, and I'm missing it. My goal when I started this blog was to write about my daily walk with God. I pray over it before I post. Some days I sit down to write, and even though I know the Lord is working in my life, He doesn't give me a word to share. So I wait. It seems every day that my blog title "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord" has also become a way of life for me. I wait for a word, a sign, a still, small voice to lead me. I'm not sure the purpose of this post today, but it is what I am being led to write.
I have a couple of different verses on my heart today. I hope by the end of this I will understand too.
1 Peter 3:15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,
This verse has come up several times for me lately. I have a Daily Blessing on my blog that updates daily from another site I visit. This particular verse has come up 2 times in the last week, and I feel I'm supposed to give an answer today, for someone.
My life is pretty good. I have a couple of issues on my heart, pretty serious as they involve my immediate family, but all in all my life is good. God has seen to that. Not the case several years ago. I can remember a time when I prayed for death. I had no hope. I had a bleak and terrible view of what the future held for me. There were several things going on and I felt like I had no control over my life. The only way I knew to make the pain stop was by death. I'm not so proud of the girl I was back then. I tried to take my own life. I found out how valuable to others I really was, and how selfish I was being. I took drastic steps to get myself well. It is still humiliating for me to even think about that time in my life, and it is pretty uncomfortable to even talk about. God answered my prayer of death. It was in this time that I became born again. I asked Jesus into my heart, into my life. There was nothing left. I had nothing left to lose, and only life to gain. Eternal life. It hasnt been easy, but today I can say that when there is nothing left, God is enough. Someone told me recently that the Bible DOES NOT say that God will never give you more than you can handle. He will, because it is in these times of not being able to handle that you are broken and you learn to lean on Him, trust Him, and know that He is God.
I have a heavy heart right now for several people. Some are friends or family, some I dont even know. However, I have been led to pray for these people. A lady from my work died of cancer. I didnt know her, but several people I dont even work with but know pretty well have been affected by it. Two different times yesterday it was brought to my attention. I told one friend that I would be praying for her. I have found in the past that I say this flippantly, and never follow through. I never want to do that again. Her face lit up when I told her that. She was weary and burdened, it showed in her face. Then to see her light up from saying "I will be praying for you", tells me there is a hope. She is expecting me to do so. The best thing we can do for anybody is to pray for them. I know there have been people in my life who have been praying for me. Interceding, petitioning God.
2 Chronicles 7:14if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
This is one of my favorite verses. It was one of the first I memorized. It contains a promise of healing! I dont know about you, but that is exciting news to me! There are so many hurting people in the world, people who have no hope. I was one of them! It was not easy to give up my wicked ways, and truth be told, I'm still a work in progress! The good news is that God did hear from Heaven, and HE IS HEALING MY LAND! Yes, there are bumps and deep pits of mourning for all of us, but God is FAITHFUL. Maybe not always in our timing and in our way, for His ways are higher than our ways, and His timing is perfect. I invite you to give Him a chance. Taste and see that the Lord is good! What do you have to lose???