Be Still and Know that He is God

Oh, where to begin today. I need to write. I am on overload, and this is my outlet.
Sing praise. Thats what I need to do first.

Would you be free from your burden of sin. There's power in the blood, power in the blood. Would you oe'r evil the victory win. There's wonderful power in the blood.
There is power, power, wonder working power, in the blood, of the lamb. There is power, power, wonder working power in the precious blood of the lamb.

I've been singing it all week. It is all that is getting me through right now. I know God is working, but I'm not seeing it much right now. I am having to walk in faith. I'm exhausted from training at my job, coming home and cleaning, cooking, and raising a family, not to mention all the other activities we have going on. Do some need to go?

I am trying hard to come up with a routine. I'm failing. I feel like I'm drowning. I am not used to working a full 40 hour week. I have been spoiled for too long I guess. I about broke down in tears at work today from all the stress, and that is not like me at all. I am tough. I work well under pressure. So what happened to me today????

As I left work at lunch to run an errand, I was almost in a panic attack. I forgot to grab my sandwich, so I didnt even get to eat, which made my mood a little worse, but I am realizing that sometimes that's just how it goes. When I returned to work though I had more of a feeling of calm and peace than I have had all week, and there is no explanation for it in my mind. Except that He has the whole world in His hands.

Today is Wednesday, church day, and I didnt get to go because my boy had baseball practice. I went in and talked to Pastor D for a few minutes while dropping off my girl. I just needed a shoulder, and God provided. Pastor D gave me a verse, and I am carrying it with me.

Psalm 46:10 (New King James Version)
10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

Every aspect of my life is in emotional turmoil right now. I am DESPERATE for peace. I am in a time of crying out to my Lord, "God, I can't take anymore." I need Him first to teach me how to be still. How to just shut off the emotion, the frustration, and yes, even anger.
I wish I could just blurt all here, but out of love and respect, and honour, I can not.
I'm thinking I'm just rattling on here, and while maybe confusing to the reader, it is beneficial to me. I am getting answers as I write.
The first thing that comes to mind: Am I taking care of Stephanie? Nope. I'm not eating right, I'm not prioritizing, I'm not disciplining. I'm not having quiet time with my Bible, and when I lay down at night I'm not spending time with my Lord. I'm thinking over the days' frustration, what I didnt get done, bills, who I'm mad at, etc....

No wonder I have no peace. I have to do something different. A chore chart for the kids, with consequences for not doing them. Thats the discipline. Getting up 5 minutes earlier to have quiet time with my Bible. These are little things that I can do right now that will make a huge difference. I'm "still" right now, focused on the state of my spiritual health. It's the medicine I need to get back to where I belong. I think I will end right now with this, and take a huge dose of it. I'm getting out my Bible, let the day rest, and be still knowing that He is God.