Standing on His Promise

Isaiah 41:10 (New International Version)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

How is it that you can be going through life one day and everything is absolutely marvelous, not a care in the world, except for continuing to stay on the path that God has set before you. The next day you feel like you've been ran over by a mac truck, with not one problem but a series of things that you just never even saw coming. Ok, some you did, but they seemed to get worse as others arose. That is my life right now.

I have been working really hard at getting trained with my new job, learning to make new routines at home to fit my new full time hours, and still make the time for the family activities that have become so important to our family. It has been stressful, especially the day when the crockpot decided to quit on me, but for the most part I have enjoyed the challenge, and I am learning to be more efficient.

This last weekend I had some things arise that stopped me in my tracks. Things that have me questioning the path I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT GOD HAS SET BEFORE ME. I know these things because I have prayed extensively over them, and I have checked them against God's Holy word. I am learning to be obedient, and joyful to the tasks set before me, even housework. I am bearing fruit like never before, and I am just delighted in doing God's work. I even have tentative plans to go on my very first mission trip next year, I believe to Honduras, to an orphanage.

I know these are usually the times when satan works hard. He has tried and tried to get me to fail again, and while he has not succeeded in winning the war, sometimes he gets the small victories. I have allowed him a window here the last couple of days. The situations that have arisen are not my doing, but ultimately they are my problems now. How I handle them will be very important. This is a time when I have to reach deep inside and find what really matters. Realize where my own selfishness fits in, and put guilt in its rightful place. The first thing I had to do was reach out for outside help. I do not do well with this one. I am a stubborn proud person who doesnt like to admit defeat. Right now, I feel defeated, I feel like a failure, and I have not a lot of joy. The window I talked of earlier.

Actually, before I asked for outside help, I sat down and prayed. I thanked God for the trials that were before me, the struggles that will one day be just a memory. I know God holds me with His rightous hand. When I called my older sister for help, she didnt sugar coat things for me. She lives for God too. He directed me to her. I didnt like what she had to say, but knew it was truth, and it has helped my thinking to be clearer. She came into my life when I was 16, she was 19. My mother had put her up for adoption when she was born. I knew about her most of my younger years, and knew I would know her one day. I couldnt stand her when I was 16. She had encroached upon my territory, and it was just a really hard time for me. She is my mothers daughter, and my Dad had a brand new baby girl shortly after I had met my older sister. I was always the only girl. Just here the last couple of months we have started talking again. Both of us have had to do some serious prayer over our relationship, and where God wants us to go with it. When he answered my prayer the other morning and told me to call her at 7:30 am, I knew where He wants us to go with it. It will be a slow process, and should be. It takes a long time to build a strong bond, but we are getting closer every day. I love her.

I know the Lord is with me through this time. I will struggle with being dismayed, because I am human, but He has promised to strengthen me and help me. Through His strength I will be less and less dismayed. I am still fairly new at learning to trust Him, but He has never failed me. I will contnue to praise Him, even through my tears, and anger, and frustration. For I know the joy comes in the mourning. Thank you, Father.